You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
