im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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