And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
