just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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