pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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