She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
