Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The Olympian is in my bed
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