im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
