Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
