that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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