if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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