Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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