I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
