You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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