Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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