And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you didnt know i had herpes?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
