pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
