I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
