Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
