and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
