Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
