This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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