Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
