Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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