McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
