New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
