ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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