Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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