How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
