while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize