guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
