Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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