If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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