How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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