Fine. I'll sleep in my office
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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