suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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