I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
