I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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