i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
