Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
