saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
