That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
