a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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