Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When did angry sex become our thing?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
