I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
