Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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