I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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