we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
