plz talk dirty to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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