did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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