My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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