Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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