i don't like sucking hair
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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