At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hell yes lets make some ravioli
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
