I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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