Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
