My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
