That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im about as happy as oj after his trial
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
