i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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