didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
