I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
