Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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