i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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