Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
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