she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
