i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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